Tuesday, 10 October 2017

The Assassin Podcast

I have a podcast now.

The Assassin Podcast: your destination for all things stabby knifey Nizari Ismaili.

Find me on Itunes

Sunday, 1 October 2017

Jesper Kyd - Al Mualim (unreleased Assassin's Creed Full Soundtrack)

Oh, the glory days of Jesper Kyd being composer for AC. Firing him was almost as bad as firing the original creator. Good job Ubisoft.

Sunday, 18 June 2017

The Modern Story Podcast # 4

Mary Sues in Storytelling or Why Lucy Heartphelia needs to die.

In this episode of the most popular podcast about story telling in the world (I'm sure you know the reason for that by now). We dive into Mary Sues or at least, that's what I start off doing, before I just start destroying Lucy Heartphelia of the Fairy tail Anime series.
Warning: Spoilers for the Key of the starry heavens arc, eclipse cannon arc and the oracion seis arc.


By the way to mark the announcing of Ubisoft's newest attempt to tell Panache to eat a dick I made this little image for Assassin's Creed Origins, may it crash and burn, so we may have a real assassin's creed one day.

Assandbox's greed image

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

God wants me to fail because he is jealous

You know, I was about to come out and say I've been delaying my posts because I genuinely wanted to see if anyone would notice but now my internet has gotten so bad that uploading a single file takes four hours and in those four hours there is a 99% chance for a connection loss. So, don't expect many podcasts for the next while. I can say though, I am working on something else at the moment podcast wise and will hopefully get enough in minimum wage to fund a libsyn account so that I can hopefully one day get out of the poverty line.
Until then....

Friday, 26 May 2017

The Modern Story Podcast #3

Dragons in Modern Story Telling-Part 1: Dragons of Middle-Earth

Dragons are a staple of human mythology. They appear in every culture around the globe. But how has our modern age affected dragons and their representation? It's a big question so here's a three part podcast on it.

Note: not very proud of this podcast, the recording wasn't up to my standard. If I have time, I'll do a re-recording. For now, It's good quality for a freebee; let's just settle on that.


Thursday, 18 May 2017

The Modern Story Podcast #2

The typical anime protagonist

What if I told you, there was a character that was in ninety percent of anime. The same character over and over. Well there is. It's the typical anime protagonist.
What if I told you there is a test for diagnosing this prat. Well there is. It's Sisypheus' prat test.
What if I told you there was a place to download this podcast on itunes. Well there isn't. I can't afford the hosting site, get used to that.


Here's the prat test.

Sisypheus' Prat test

Note presence of trait in character and assign 1,2 or 0 depending on prevalence of trait. Be more lenient in judgement when story has a decent narrative excuse for trait eg. Harem anime because a disease killed all men but one. At the end add up score and take it out of total if all were 2. As a general rule: over 20 is a certainty and over 15 a possible.
Some characters may have coincidental pratness, which is to be excused due to fallibility of the test.
Have fun.

1. Unconditional, all encompassing kindness. (a pure geniality towards all characters independent of disposition, creed, sex, et cetera).

2. Compulsive altruism. (an uncontrollable devotion towards selfless acts which can culminate in the character putting himself in serious danger or taking lethal risks).

3. Ability to cure or put at ease mentally unstable characters. (Other characters inexplicably open up to character. Character shows unbelievable sympathy or understanding of other characters' problems and manages to put them at ease with no more than simple reassurances).

4. All forgiving. (An unlimited capacity for forgiveness, independent of the severity of the trespass committed, on the single condition that the trespasser is repentant).

5. Surrounded by women. (A large number of female characters surround character and interact with him on a regular basis. There is a distinct lack of male characters who do the same).

6. Women easily fall in love with him. (Female characters almost instantly become enamoured with character for no reason asides from the character's inherent charisma. Character often needs not interact with female characters more than one episode or simply resolves their problems before they become infatuated).

7. Perverted male companion. (Present with the character is one or two reoccurring minor characters who show an obsession with sexual activity and often make inappropriate comments much to the aggravation of the female characters).

8. A love struck relative. (Character has a female relative who despite being related either by blood or by law finds themselves inexplicably drawn towards the character. Relative may be aware of the social faux pas of her affections and yet cannot help but interact more with character).

9. Sexually oblivious. (A complete lack of awareness of the growing affections of companions and the affect his behaviour is having on companions around him. Often coupled with an inability to tell when he is groping a boob).

10. Easily embarrassed. (Despite constant interaction with female characters and an ability to woo that suggests some experience with women, character shows moments of embarrassment often when women say certain things, become close or are wearing certain items of clothing. This embarrassment never eases no matter how many times the trigger may occur. Character can often confidently touch or speak with character and then suddenly become embarrassed being touched or talked to at another time).

11. A special power. (Character has a power to which places him above all other characters in regards to significance. This power is often used to resolve problems and allow the character to avoid making hard decisions or sacrifices. If the character is incapable or lacks a power then he is protected by a female character who happens to have affections for him).

12. Suffers no consequences due to weaknesses or flaws. (Character may have a certain flaw or weakness that is never portrayed as a disadvantage to the character. Character may be reckless and find himself in a sticky situation but after being rescued he will learn his “lesson” and proceed never to commit the same mistake again. Character often only struggles internally with weakness and even then manages to overcome it with relative ease).

13. Endures a tragedy. (Character lives through a tragic and traumatising event, usually the claiming of family lives by an antagonist, that serves as a motivating force throughout the story. Despite the severity of the event, character suffers no psychological damage that serves as a disadvantage to the character).

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

The Modern Story Podcast

Do you like anime, video games and other popular forms of storytelling but find that you just can't be pretentious enough about it to feel good inside?
Announcing the Modern Story Podcast: a series exploring modern stories with a critical eye usually reserved for Film/Literary Criticism. Modern Storytellers will finally be recognised and lazy writers will have nowhere to hide.

1. Death in Modern Storytelling
Death is a subject that has fascinated the human mind since the childhood of our species. In this podcast I take a look at Death as a theme as explored within anime, video games and live action television drama.

Warning: Contains spoilers for episode 1 of Akame ga kill, which is shit, so don't bother watching it anyway.
Stories covered in this podcast:
Game of Thrones
Tokyo Ghoul
Walking dead
Akame ga kill
Attack on titan
Halo Reach